The Teacher Will Appear

I had an interesting lesson. It reminded me of a favorite quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer,

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

It was a Sunday and church didn't start till 11am but I had a few errands to run prior to getting there and, in an effort to make the most of my time (and money), decided to run the errands on the way and prior to church. It was about 9:20 when I pulled out from the house thinking I would drop some items off at my mom's and visit for a spell, run by a friend's house and then run into work. I was at the corner (only a half a block away) when my teacher appeared.

Standing there on the corner, taking a sip of a canned soda and wrapped in all manner of winter gear was "James". I should have let you know that the weather was cold. Lots of snow all over and some folks had not yet scooped their sidewalks. It was windy. James was prepared to be out in this though. He had his boots, winter coat, hat and gloves. Even with all outerwear, I realized I knew him. This was a gentleman who attends my church!

I pulled up to the stop sign, rolled down the window and asked if he needed a ride somewhere. "Yes! Thank you!" and I told him to hop in. He got in, thanked me again and I asked where he was headed. "To church." He must have noticed the look on my face... remember, church didn't start for a good hour and a half AND our church is across town! Granted, we don't live in a metropolis but across town is STILL a good 5, maybe 6 miles. He continued, "my car broke down last week. Yesterday I dropped my phone and it quit working." He'd already walked about a mile when I saw him.

Explaining that I had several errands before church, I told him I'd take him there first then be back before it started. He asked about my husband, how I was feeling (I've been under the weather) and warmed my heart when he said, "Sister Brown?" I turned to look at him "yes?" "You are a nice lady." Besides that incredible compliment, I learned more about him in that ten minute car ride than I had in the years we'd gone to the same church. Arriving at our destination, he was appreciative and didn't mind being there ninety minutes early.

I took care of my errands and got to church on time. But all that morning, that night and even weeks later, I sit and think.... THAT man has a testimony. He knows what is important and he is committed to it NO MATTER WHAT. Nothing is going to stop him from what is important to him. Not the cold, or the miles long walk, or time.

Would I do that? Not only to attend church, but for any of the other things that I claim are important in my life?

I learned a lot from James that day. And he is an inspiration to me. Thank you, teacher!

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

What are YOU ready to learn?

Thanksgiving: Family and Chatter

My son and his family from Utah were here today. And my daughter and her family from Lincoln. We were missing my mom and Gordie (sick) and my youngest son (not able to travel here). Had the basic menu since I did all the cookin': turkey, smashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, corn, dinner rolls, frog eye salad and pumpkin pie with whipped cream for dessert. It was a FUN but short time together. And I laughed....

Here are some random things heard (in no particular order) during our time together as a family:

"Where are the kids?"
"They're fine. They're outside. Some are counting the cats as they come out of the sewer and the others are playing ball."
"Sounds like when we were kids."

"Remember when that homeless man lived out by the jungle?"
"What?!"

"Seriously. When the weeds are 2 foot taller than what you are, it's a jungle."

"Those mornings you told us to ride our bikes to swim practice in the mornings, we'd ride off, then sneak back when you weren't looking, hide the bikes in the jungle, then climb up in the fort and sleep."

"I get that and that and that when she dies."
"My mom has more Facebook friends than I do."
"The apothecary has all those drawers. Do you know what is in them?"
"When your mom dies we're going to be making A LOT of sandwiches to feed people."
"Two drawers down, three over. Should be candles. It's kind of alphabetically arranged."
"She has like 7, 8, probably 9 times more Twitter followers than I do."
"You Twitter?"
"I'm like 'Mom, will you Retweet me?'"
"What's in this drawer then."
"You sound really messed up with this friend thing."
"Will you Retweet me once a week?"
(sometimes you have several conversations going on at once...You have to focus to keep up!)

run, run, run BAM! (silence) WAHHHHH! OWWWW!
"Holy cow, did you see how far he bounced off that sliding glass door? He was at a full sprint!"
"Are you okay?"
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to do that? I could've filmed it and won $10,000. I would've split it with you. "
"Wow, he's going to have a goose egg. Do you want an ice pack?"

"Hola!"

"Hey, don't throw concrete when you're out there."

"I want to sign her cast too."

"Can I have another piece of pie?" Please?"

"This rock has a fossil in it, can I have it?"

"I was counting on Trev being here. That's why there's an entire 'nother pot of smashed potatoes. I don't know how to pare down when he's not here to eat them."
"Freeze them and send to him."
"When he was in Lincoln last week, he wanted to eat at Old Country Buffet. Remember when he just got an entire plate full of mashed potatoes and gravy? Like every time we went there?"
"Who broke the news to him that it's a senior center now?"
"They probably had mashed potatoes there."

"You're going to use the red pitcher for gravy?? I've got to get a picture of that."
"Do not put that on your blog."

"...I remember that. I bent down to tie my shoe and Jared bolted, it was just me. Then you came into the room with your arms full and said, 'Do you know what this is?!'"

"No no! Don't scrape your dishes in the sink! I don't have a garbage disposal. You have to scrape them into the trash."
"Really?"

(during a lull in the dinner conversation) "Yeah, the way we can get all the kids to be quiet is to feed them."

I cannot wait to do it all again next time. (And learn some more things that I never did know happened when they were growing up!)

I am stressed out!

Then Ralph said he heard something like this from Wayne Dyer...
Go get a bucket and fill it up with stress. ...What?! You can't do it? Why not?

Because stress is all about perception.
It's not something we can go "get".
It's something we invent.
Stress is "our response to events we perceive as threatening to our needs".
Key word in here... PERCEPTION!

Perception.
My sister-in-law is the general manager for a large casino. Lots of employees. Lots of responsibility. Lots of change. Lots of stress.
She was talking to a family member, saying how stressed she was.
The family member, a server at the casino, said "I know what you mean!"
Oh my gosh, what is going on in her life that I don't know about? What could be so bad? "What is going on?" she asked.
"I am three issues of PEOPLE magazine behind in my reading and it's so stressful!"
Perception.

Perception.
I know a gal who moved here from the Washington DC suburbs. Keep that in mind. DC suburbs to small town Nebraska.
She was in the car with a friend, stopped at traffic signals at a highway and street intersection near our mall. (A whole 'nother pecerption issue. What is a mall? I digress.) The friend was apologizing about "all the traffic!"
The gal from DC said she looked around. Saw about 7 cars ... and rolled her eyes.
Perception.

We each have our own perception of STRESS, too!
We perceive it, we think it, we invent it.

So what I've been trying to do is this.
When I'm stressed about something, I find the blessing.
Like ..."My neck and shoulder hurt so bad! Thank goodness for Tylenol."
or ... "I really don't like all the driving I have to do. Thank goodness I don't have to take a hand cart or a horse!"
or ... "I don't have time to get all the things done I really want to. Need to! Thank goodness I have a washer, dryer, dishwasher (go on and on) and don't have to do all that the old fashioned way!"
or ... "My job is so stressful. They don't understand me. They don't appreciate me. They drive me crazy! Thank goodness I have a job to go to."
or ... "Gas went up again?! It costs a fortune to drive. Thank goodness I have a car."
or ... "My family drives me nuts! Why do they do what they do?! God love 'em and thank goodness God loves me for putting them in my life."

You get the gist. I hope this little tip will help you like it's helped me.

I reframe my thoughts and look for the good. It helps me stay balanced.

In abundance,
Anita Lewandowski Brown

Just say "NO"

I am the poster child for not being able to say no. For some reason, my actions stem from the belief that I need to take care of others before myself.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

I remember about nine years ago when I ended up in the hospital, because of a disease of choice (yes, you read that right. I made choices that resulted in this condition.) I was in the hospital for over a week and my then-90 year old grandmother (who by the way is THE most wise person I know) wrote me a note as she was unable to come visit. She said, "Anita, you must learn to take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you will not be able to even help those around you."

Now I would like to say that I arose from that hospital bed, completely changed my life and I am a different person making altogether different choices because of that profound statement. I didn't. I am still working on it. All these years later. But I AM getting better.

Do you know that every time you say "yes" to something, you are saying "no" to something else?
That if you say "yes" to everything, then NOTHING is of real importance? You've just leveled the playing field to say everything is of the same importance.

Yes, it is easy when someone says, "Are you busy?" to say "no".
When they say "Got a minute?" we say "sure".

Be thoughtful when you answer.

If you are busy, say "yes, can we schedule a time to meet?" and when they want a minute of your time, say "no, can we schedule some time later?"

It's your 1440 minutes in a day. Yours to use. Or... yours to give away.

Some of you may remember the song "Cat's in the Cradle". The whole gist of this song is of a man who works all the time and all his boy wants is to spend time with his dad. The dad is too busy. The son grows up. The man retires. The man then aches for a connection with his family but now the son is too busy. "He'd grown up just like me" the man laments, realizing all too late that he sacrificed the best he could've had (a lasting relationship with his son) because he was busy with the good (providing and working for his family). Priorities. It's all about priorities.

USA TODAY did a survey many years ago to find out how much time the average dad spent in one-on-one conversation with their child in the average week (not yelling or screaming). The sad result was 7 minutes.
Is that child important? YES
Is that child a priority? Not really. I mean, he's going to be around for awhile, right? In some cases, they're still around in their twenties and thirties! :)

Priorities. What are you saying yes to?

Practice this:

The next time someone asks you to (fill in the blank) say "No thanks"

OR

you can just buy some time so you make a right (for you) decision and say "Let me think about it".

We need to learn to say "No thanks" 10 times more than we say "yes" because, again, if we are saying "yes" to everything,

we are saying "no" to something important.

In Abundance,

Anita Lewandowski Brown

Stop and smell the Roses? Stop and Look and Listen to All You're Missing

• Do you stop and look at the sky, maybe watching the clouds as they move across the sky, always changing and moving?
• Do you stop and listen to the cacophony of noises at dusk, when the birds and other animals are settling in for the night?
• Have you ever noticed how many colors of green there are? Or marvel at the way the sun skips off the top of moving water? Or smile over the playfulness and awkwardness of young puppies playing and rolling around, tripping over their own big paws? Or listen - just listen - to your favorite CD, whatever it is? Not driving, just sitting, eyes closed, enjoying?

How much beauty do we miss in the average day?

I read the following and it made me ponder the questions - what do I not even notice? or what do I notice but no make the time to enjoy and be grateful for?



In a Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007, a violinist played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approximately two thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After three minutes, a middle-aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

• Four minutes later, the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
• Six minutes later, a young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
• Ten minutes later, a three year-old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly, as the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.
• Forty-five minutes the musician played. Only six of the people stopped and stayed for a while. About twenty gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32.
• An hour later he finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded. There was no recognition.

Now, as Paul Harvey would say, the rest of the story...
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces every written, with a violin worth $3.5 million. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theatre in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised - Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the finest music every written, with one of the most beautiful instruments... What else are we missing?

What are you missing?

Checked at http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/bell.asp

Are you stressed: Make another choice

Are you stressed?
Do little, ordinary things that go wrong in your daily life just...
PUT YOU OVER THE EDGE!?

They do me sometimes. In fact, let's be honest... A LOT of times. It could be the person who doesn't speak when you answer the ringing telephone (because it's a machine calling most likely) or the person in the car in front of you who is going f-i-f-t-e-e-n m-i-l-e-s a-n h-o-u-r and you are the biggest rush to get to work, to an appointment... wherever it is you probably should've been there 10 minutes ago because your schedule is thistight every day, all the time. I could go on and on with the things that stress me out but I'm sure you are picturing your own scenarios.

Let's switch gears for a minute.
Have you ever seen a gerbil in their cage? watched them run on their little "wheel"?
Have you ever noticed how they get off the wheel?
Think about it... Let me tell you what happens. They run on their little wheel until, because of exhaustion, the FALL off! They fall off and knock themselves out!

And... when they come to.... they immediately get back on the wheel.

Now my next question to you is... "How many of you are gerbils?"

(My hand sheepishly goes up.) I teach this stuff! I know this stuff! But, time and time again, I rush, rush, hurry, hurry, stress, stress until... I get knocked out. Happened just this week (again) when I ended up at the ER, complications of chronic ulcers... caused by ... stress. And after about four days of doing absolutely nothing (my equivalent of being knocked out), I come to (can actually function again) and here I go, jumping on the darned wheel again. I'll take a shower in a minute and run to give a presentation at a local church. I'll run by work (haven't been there in four days) and catch up a bit. Come home, do dishes, laundry, probably vacuum and go to bed at a decent time (one point for me there for actually planning to go to bed at a decent time. I do know sleep is important.) Tomorrow I'll get up early, get to work, work till noon then take off on a 2 1/2 hour trip, visit and home by about 11pm. I hear the hum of the "wheel" already.

You may be nodding your head saying "Yes, that's the way I've always done it, too." But I have news for you! Today... today you can "choose to do it different!"

I choose NOT to get on the wheel today.
I have committed to the speaking engagement, but afterwards I choose to visit and spend time with my 98 year old grandma. I choose to come home and make the most beautiful piece of peanut butter toast (about all I can keep down right now) and serve it to myself on a beautiful plate and make the presentation exquisite! None of this standing at the sink and inhaling it today. I choose to spend some time with that book I've been wanting to ready for six months and can never "justify" spending my valuable time on. I choose to just lay on the couch and listen to my newest "Wicked" CD and get lost in the music. I choose to journal about my feelings. I choose to NOT get back on that wheel. At least for today. To honor my self, my spirit, my emotions and my body and take care of it and treat it with love today.

I know this stuff. I teach it.
A wise Ralph told me... "The longest journey is the one from the head to the heart."
Making what you KNOW part of who you ARE.

I'm working on it.
Now, next time you fall off that wheel when you come to just lay there for a minute and think before you act. Before you get back on that wheel, reflect and discover how YOU can honor yourself today.

Because loving yourself is the best thing you can do for those you love.

In abundance,
Anita Lewandowski Brown

A Lesson from Emma: Reacting to Things that Scare Us

The funniest thing I ever did see.... and one of the best lessons I ever did learn.

My granddog was staying with me for a few days and I needed to mow the lawn. I thought Emma, an Australian shepherd, would enjoy spending a few hours outside with me while I was taking care of things. I knew we were in for an "adventurous" couple of hours when I started the mower.... "vrm. Vrm. vrm. VROOOOOOMMMMMMM!", the mower started and Emma was over to investigate in a New York minute!

She barked and she jumped at the mower. She barked and barked and growled and jumped again at the mower. She got down on her front two feet and growled and lunged toward it again and again. Even as I put the mower in motion, she was at "its" heels, jumping toward and growling and barking the entire hour and a half.

At first it was funny. Then it became annoying. Then it became a lesson.

I got to thinking how sometimes we want to beat down and destroy the things we fear. We act tough - possibly putting on a front so they don't figure out that it is we, who are truly frightened. We want to pounce on them and smother them so they never again make a sound or upset us.

But perhaps these things that scare us, frighten us, upset us - perhaps they are a tool to help "sharpen" us, to "prune" us or to make us more beautiful (inside or out).
Perhaps they make us better and actually make our lives easier in the long run. (Can you imagine taking care of your lawn WITHOUT a mower? Might be time to buy a goat!)

Thank you, Emma, for helping me look at life in another way.
... And that reminds me - time to go mow the lawn!