Are you stressed: Make another choice

Are you stressed?
Do little, ordinary things that go wrong in your daily life just...
PUT YOU OVER THE EDGE!?

They do me sometimes. In fact, let's be honest... A LOT of times. It could be the person who doesn't speak when you answer the ringing telephone (because it's a machine calling most likely) or the person in the car in front of you who is going f-i-f-t-e-e-n m-i-l-e-s a-n h-o-u-r and you are the biggest rush to get to work, to an appointment... wherever it is you probably should've been there 10 minutes ago because your schedule is thistight every day, all the time. I could go on and on with the things that stress me out but I'm sure you are picturing your own scenarios.

Let's switch gears for a minute.
Have you ever seen a gerbil in their cage? watched them run on their little "wheel"?
Have you ever noticed how they get off the wheel?
Think about it... Let me tell you what happens. They run on their little wheel until, because of exhaustion, the FALL off! They fall off and knock themselves out!

And... when they come to.... they immediately get back on the wheel.

Now my next question to you is... "How many of you are gerbils?"

(My hand sheepishly goes up.) I teach this stuff! I know this stuff! But, time and time again, I rush, rush, hurry, hurry, stress, stress until... I get knocked out. Happened just this week (again) when I ended up at the ER, complications of chronic ulcers... caused by ... stress. And after about four days of doing absolutely nothing (my equivalent of being knocked out), I come to (can actually function again) and here I go, jumping on the darned wheel again. I'll take a shower in a minute and run to give a presentation at a local church. I'll run by work (haven't been there in four days) and catch up a bit. Come home, do dishes, laundry, probably vacuum and go to bed at a decent time (one point for me there for actually planning to go to bed at a decent time. I do know sleep is important.) Tomorrow I'll get up early, get to work, work till noon then take off on a 2 1/2 hour trip, visit and home by about 11pm. I hear the hum of the "wheel" already.

You may be nodding your head saying "Yes, that's the way I've always done it, too." But I have news for you! Today... today you can "choose to do it different!"

I choose NOT to get on the wheel today.
I have committed to the speaking engagement, but afterwards I choose to visit and spend time with my 98 year old grandma. I choose to come home and make the most beautiful piece of peanut butter toast (about all I can keep down right now) and serve it to myself on a beautiful plate and make the presentation exquisite! None of this standing at the sink and inhaling it today. I choose to spend some time with that book I've been wanting to ready for six months and can never "justify" spending my valuable time on. I choose to just lay on the couch and listen to my newest "Wicked" CD and get lost in the music. I choose to journal about my feelings. I choose to NOT get back on that wheel. At least for today. To honor my self, my spirit, my emotions and my body and take care of it and treat it with love today.

I know this stuff. I teach it.
A wise Ralph told me... "The longest journey is the one from the head to the heart."
Making what you KNOW part of who you ARE.

I'm working on it.
Now, next time you fall off that wheel when you come to just lay there for a minute and think before you act. Before you get back on that wheel, reflect and discover how YOU can honor yourself today.

Because loving yourself is the best thing you can do for those you love.

In abundance,
Anita Lewandowski Brown

Control: How to have all you want

Do you have control in your life?
How does it feel to have control? To have no control?
What do you do? How do you handle the emotions and feelings?
Let's explore...

First, a visualization... Consider the room you are in.

THE WALL OF NO CONTROL

The wall to the right of you is the Wall of No Control. On this wall are all the things in life that you have No Control over. What lives on this wall?

• The weather. We certainly have no control over that!
• Traffic. Again, no control.
  
• If you live in Grand Island, Nebraska... Trains! We have so many trains in this town AND train tracks to navigate around. When you have one stuck on the tracks, stopped - try controlling that!

Anything else?

• What about... other people. Once you figure out that other people live on the Wall of No Control and you accept that, your life will get oh-so-much-easier! One of the best things I got out of going to Al Anon meetings is my knowledge that this is so - I have no control over other people. I can try to influence...but I cannot control. We don't even have control over our children when they are small! Ever try to make a small child quit screaming?

How do you feel when you're in that place of No Control? Perhaps you feel scared, anxious, mad, sad... Because those aren't normally feelings we strive to have, let's keep reading.

THE WALL OF COMPLETE CONTROL

On the wall to the right, we had the Wall of No Control. And to the left of you is the Wall of Complete Control. On this wall are the things in life that you have absolute positive complete control over. What is on this wall?
.....
.....
I'm waiting....

• Y O U. That's it. What you say, what you think, how you feel, what goes into your mouth, what comes out of your mouth, your attitude, your actions. YOU. That's the bad news, right? No, that's the good news because you CAN control ALL of you.

You can control what you say. Each of us has the ability to think and then speak. Unfortunately, it's easier to "blurt" and oftentimes we say things that are not what we intend. Take a minute and THINK before you speak.

You can control what you think. What?! Yes you can. Choose to focus on the positive. Choose to look for the positive. Your brain is a computer that only does what you tell it to do and if you wake up and roll out of bed mumbling, "This is going to be an awful day," your brain will go about it's daily duties looking of EVERY AWFUL thing it can find! However, roll out of bed grateful and thankful for the opportunity to go about your business this day and your brain will LOOK for every wonderful blessing and joy there is in life. Honest!

You can control how you feel. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." How true! And no one can make you feel sad or mad or... even happy unless you choose to! These are YOUR feelings, no one else's. You control them. And how do you FEEL when you're in compete control? WONDERFUL, happy, joyous!
We HAVE control over the most important part of our lives - US!

THE VOID IN BETWEEN

More to ponder lies in knowing there is a void between this Wall of No Control and the Wall of Complete Control. Know that even when you can't control, you CAN adapt to the situation or influence the person.

• Live with the knowledge that there are things outside your control, but you can adapt.
• Live with the knowledge that there are people who may act in a way that you do not want, but you can influence.

And when it's all said and done, we have choice. Choice to be grateful and happy for the life we are given.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

How does it feel to have control over your life?